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Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. No gifts are required – it’s just about gratitude and good food. Spending the day with the people I love is an added bonus.
But this year, the day of thanks is at risk.
By no less than politics.
It’s hard to imagine that people are ready to cut off family members or rub salt in the wounds of the folks they’re supposed to love, all in the name of a presidential election.
But here we are, with people uninviting family members who voted the ‘wrong’ way, people refusing to attend the event, and still others planning to deliberately make the day uncomfortable for ‘wrong-voting’ loved ones.
Kamala voters are leading the way to cancel Thanksgiving.
Social media is filled with examples of people who refuse to attend a holiday of gratitude with family members who voted for Trump. Worse still is that some of the mainstream media is supporting this division.
Joy Reid has spent loads of time dumping on Trump voters and has called in a Yale psychologist to justify it.
USA Today posted an opinion piece entitled, “We can’t share Thanksgiving. You voted to deport people who look like me.” The author writes:
I am one generation from family members who came to America from Mexico. My family is here because of a guest worker program that today’s political climate would never allow, mostly because of Republicans.
I grew up, went to school and lived my life with the very people many of you think should be part of Donald Trump’s promised militarized mass deportation. I am them. They are me. We are who you voted against.Why would I sit at the same table and pass the stuffing around with those voters on Thanksgiving?
I’m not even judging or dismissing people who voted for that…
…But I’m not breaking bread with that. No chance.
Newsweek also published an article with a round-up of folks who are checking out of this year’s festivities with family. One woman quoted said:
“This is already the most sad holiday season I think I will ever experience – solely for the fact that I have made the decision for myself and my fiance and our child to skip out family holidays with my family that voted for Trump.”
“And it’s not the fact that they are Republicans, it’s the fact that they voted for Donald Trump knowing who he is and what he is capable of,” she added, “and I’m mourning the fact that my family is educated white people and they still voted for him – and they still voted for him.”
She went on: “This to me proves that Trump and his MAGA cult are truly brainwashed and it’s sad not knowing if I’ll ever get my family back.
It continues to discuss folks on Reddit who aren’t just canceling Thanksgiving, but also relationships – some people are planning to cut ties with their families forever over an election.
Huffington Post published an essay entitled, “My Husband And His Family Voted For Trump — So I’m Canceling Thanksgiving And Christmas.” She wrote:
Later that night, I briefly glanced at my husband and found myself not wanting to look into the eyes I love…
…“I am sorry about the holidays, but I cannot bite my tongue like I did with Hillary,” I told him. “I don’t want to disrespect your parents or your brother and his family in their home, or our home, so it’s best this way. No scenes. You can go see them. Seriously — I will not be in a room of 15 people who voted for Trump.”
…I was surprised he didn’t argue about the change in holiday plans. Normally, it would be a bone of contention because of how close he is to his family. Somewhere inside, he must understand what this election outcome means to me. I know he has empathy for me, for which I am thankful. I will hold onto this like a life raft as I try to figure out how we move forward with our marriage.
But I will not give thanks and hold hands in a circle with people who voted for a party that wants to take rights away from LGBTQ people. I will not pass the turkey to someone who supports people who have signaled they will cause harm to people with disabilities and the elderly. I will not sit by a Christmas tree celebrating the birth of Jesus and sipping eggnog when I know how many people may now find themselves in grave — even deadly — danger because they cannot get the reproductive care they need. I will not unwrap gifts given to me by people who voted for a party that has talked about building internment camps and mass deportation.
It’s really difficult to see how that couple will get past the sense of betrayal, much less the holidays.
Why is this happening?
We’ve all been on the losing side of elections in the past, and the holidays proceeded as normal after most of them. But this year is different.
As I’ve written before, I blame the propaganda and outright lies of the mainstream media for this rift. They have legitimately brainwashed almost half the country into seeing this as an existential crisis. This has caused anxiety, fear, and outright terror, and most of it is based on falsehoods.
This year, it’s not just a political disagreement for those people. It is an existential crisis, and they feel horribly wounded by people they believe voted for hatred. Some people are intent on punishing loved ones for seeing the world differently, while others feel devastated and betrayed.
But the problem is, the folks who end up hating former loved ones and cutting ties with them are the ones who believed the propaganda.
Unfortunately, I think this has the power to permanently sever a lot of family relationships. I don’t see a way back from the fear-inspired anger, nor do I see a way to convince people who feel this way that their fears may be overblown.
So, not only has the media affected people’s mental health. It has destroyed entire families.
How to move forward
If you are a member of a family in which the votes of the others has you upset, I have a few words of advice.
Please remember that this is one election over the course of a lifetime of elections. While you may have really big feelings right now, as you progress through the next four years and see that this is not the extinction event you were convinced it was, if you allow yourself to assess things accurately, you will soften toward people who saw things differently.
If your candidate was the winner, I urge you to squelch the desire to gloat or be cruel to people whose mental health is genuinely suffering over the outcome of this election.
In fact, I think it would be great if families avoided politics altogether at family gatherings. Not just this year but every year. I think we should spend our time together being nostalgic and remembering the shared bonds and experiences created by years of holidays and events. Break out the photo albums. Remember old times. See the similarities between your grandkids and their parents as children.
Lead the way with love.
This year could be (and probably will be) dicey.
But if we focus on the good intentions of people who see the world differently, even if we disagree with their conclusions, we can still have a season filled with gratitude and love for one another.
If you’re looking for a way to get through this together, I found this book to have some wonderful recommendations.
What are your thoughts?
Have politics threatened Thanksgiving this year in your family? Are you the outlier who voted for a different candidate than the others? What strategies will you use to make sure that family comes first?
Let’s discuss it in the comments section.
